Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Mark Garrison, April 17!

*I wrote this post mid May and I'm just now posting it. A lot has changed since then...
We took these pictures at 37 weeks thinking Mark would come any time. Two weeks later, I went in for a scheduled csection. I was so nervous and scared! I cried my eyes out until Dr. Farrow came in the OR. Just seeing her made me feel better about it all. This was one of her last deliveries. (She is moving to North Carolina and I recently went in for my 1 month check up with her and fought back the tears. I ended up crying about it later. I cannot imagine anyone else delivering one of my babies. She has been such a great doctor. I am so sad to say goodbye.) The actual surgery was the easiest part of the whole thing. David talked to me about anything he could think of to distract me and once Mark was out, I just stared at him in amazement and forgot what all was happening to me. The second I saw him I knew he was a lot bigger than Zach. Once they weighed him I remember being shocked - 10lbs, 1oz! I knew he was measuring around that size but I really thought they were probably wrong and he would be around 8 or 9 lbs. They weren't wrong! David went with Mark to the recovery room while they were finishing up with me and my mom and dad walked in right after him. The first day, Mark had 3 visitors. My mom, dad, and sister. This was a huge difference from when Zach was born. We planned on having visitors at the hospital and of course after we were home but God had different plans for Mark. Mark was born on April 17th at 7:39am and by 11pm, I noticed his breathing seemed fast. I casually mentioned it to the nurse thinking that I was just over reacting. Around 3am, she took him to the nursery for observation. His blood sugar was low so they gave him some formula. David and I called the nursery around 5 or 6 and they told us a whole lot of things we weren't prepared for. Mark was sent for a chest x-ray that showed fluid in his lungs, he was checked by the pediatrician who then had a neo natalist look at him. Shortly after that, Mark was taken to the NICU. I tried to be ok about it but then just lost it. I was hysterical. What does this all mean? Can I feed him still? Can I see him? When can I see him and for how long? What was wrong with him? Is he going to be ok? It was a crushing feeling. I still couldn't really even walk as the epidural hadn't completely worn off. I waited a little while, maybe an hour or two, then got up and took a shower. That was a scary thing! ha! As soon as I was done with that, David and I made the walk to the NICU. The nurses in the NICU were amazingly supportive and after talking to them, I felt SO much better. I could still feed him every 3 hours. Better still, they said I could see him and hold anytime and for however long I wanted to. I could live in that tiny space with him and I kinda did. I would go feed him and then stay for an hour or so after that just holding him and staring at him. Then I would go back to my room and try to rest, sleep, or eat before doing it all again. It was hard doing that while trying to recover from the csection but I just couldn't stay away. I remember thinking, what if something goes wrong? What if this is the last time I ever get to hold him? You just never know... And no one seemed to know what was wrong. After a couple of days, we got answers we had been waiting for. They kept him for a total of 7 days and treated for presumable pneumonia. Mark was born on Tuesday and by Saturday, I had to go home. They let me stay all day until the night shift got there around 5ish. I was so thankful for that extra time. I called the NICU to check on Mark every night I was away from him and first thing every morning, David dropped me off at the hospital and I stayed with Mark all day. Then David would pick me up and I would go home to sleep/pump then do it all again. I missed Zach so much but needed to focus on Mark and getting healed. It was a very hard internal struggle. Zach stayed with my parents for 8 days. Finally, we all got to go home! I was overwhelmed with excitement that I got to have both my boys home with me. We were home for barely 2 days, then we took Mark in to see his pediatrician for the first time. She sent us straight to Children's Medical. Mark had another chest x-ray and was admitted. I was again hysterical. I was in a whole lot of physical pain. I wasn't prepared. We were there for a little over 24 hours. It was miserable being there. Mark was put in a regular hospital room, instead of being with just babies and protected in the NICU, and that was a hard thing for me to deal with. We had a big scare with his EKG but it turned out that something was calculated wrong and his heart was ok. They finally let us go home but still with no answers. Two days after that, we found ourselves meeting with a pulminologist. Finally, someone who had seen something like this before but still no answers really. Basically, he told us to keep an eye on Mark and make sure he didn't get any worse. We are supposed to keep him home for 3 months and not take him to any public place, around big groups of people, or around other kids to avoid any type of respiratory sickness - even just a cold could potentially be bad for him. Mark is 1 month old now and doing pretty good. He now weighs 12 lbs 4 oz and is 23 inches long. He is consistently growing and his breathing seems much better to us at times. We are praying this works itself out and just goes away. Even if we never have any real answers, we are thankful for the optimistic outlook for Mark. He is such a sweet blessing to us and Zach. Watching Zach take care of and love on his little brother is so sweet.

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