Friday, April 15, 2011

On my heart...

I'm linking up with Casey today. Go check out her amazingly beautiful life!

I haven't written a blog post in a while. I have wanted to and have thought about it but I'm struggling with something... Am I too sensitive to have a blog?

Maybe.

It hurts me to celebrate my joys publicly when I know friends are hurting. How can I brag on my husband and marriage when many people in my life yearn for that? How can I be honest about my love for Zach and how he has changed me and David forever in such an incredible way when friends are aching everyday to have a baby? How can I talk about my awesome job where I get to take Zach with me when so many friends are heartbroken over leaving their babies all day to go to work? How can I talk about the blessing my parents are and have been when friends ache for that with their parents or have lost parents? You get the point... It breaks my heart.

I actually wrote on facebook the other day that I have the most amazingly understanding and supportive dad in the world. After I pushed enter, I cried for those who have lost their dads. I almost deleted my comment. The only reason I didn't was because that is how I felt - my dad was there for me and it made my heart so happy that I just had to write it down. Everyone else writes about their joys - do they ever feel this way?

I don't know if I can actually continue blogging because of this all. It's too much. I feel too guilty. I feel guilty for my life? Yep. I do. I know there are so many out there hurting and struggling and to bring to light my joys is just plain mean. Right? I don't know... I was talking to Chelsea the other day and I thought of a magical solution to our world (I'm powerless to make this happen but it's a wonderful dream) - what if we all had the same percentage of pain and joy in our lives? Then all the suffering would be fair. Some people suffer a lifetime and others not much at all. How do you celebrate joy while other are hurting? I just don't know. That's not to say my life is pure joy all the time. There is pain and suffering in my life but I'm not directly affected by others' happiness because my issues aren't so obvious and it would be hard for others to touch on those issues through blogging or facebook. Well, I'm just going to end with that because that's what's on my heart today.


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9 comments:

  1. Brooke LaBouveApril 15, 2011 at 10:01 AM

    You can't beat yourself up. You're happy, now is the time to record it with your blog. Celebrate it. There may be something that comes along one day, God forbid, and it will make you really sad or feel really lonely and you'll wish you had documented these times. Maybe they would help you get through a rough spot down the road. The best thing you could do is pray for others, and I know you do. I just want to give you a hug!!

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  2. AnonymousApril 15, 2011 at 10:03 AM

    Liz,
    Your blog and facebook bring so much joy to others. You are blessed and you show your love of God and family daily and it gives hope to others.
    Love,
    Kathy Miller

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  3. CaseyWiegandApril 15, 2011 at 12:00 PM

    girl, i love you. you bless me liz. xoxo

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  4. LaurenApril 15, 2011 at 1:22 PM

    I think everyone should be able to share their thoughts no matter what they are. Yes, some have it worse and some have it better than others but for those that have it worse, they see there still can be light at the end of the tunnel, and for those that have it better see to be grateful for what they have and not put others down for what they don't have.

    You could inspire many people just as many people inspire you :-)

    I love you!

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  5. Adam, April & AidanApril 15, 2011 at 2:28 PM

    I loved this post. I am right there with you. Sometimes I feel so guilty too. Then I remember that maybe if I put out there that happiness exists, the people that can't find it right then, still hold out hope.

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  6. myriahmaeApril 15, 2011 at 3:02 PM

    Don't feel guilty. You should rejoice in what's great in your life. This post brings me joy!

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  7. Katie @ minivan divaApril 15, 2011 at 11:33 PM

    I love how sensitive you are to others. i think your FB comment is beautiful and those who have lost their fathers were probably reminded of how special their dads were too and felt joy thinking of them.
    P.S. We have a dog that looks just like your dog. : )

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  8. MeredithApril 20, 2011 at 10:15 PM

    Liz, You are such a wonderful sister, and your blog posts always inspire me. I love being able to see into a day in the life of the Zantops when I am so many miles away. Your family is so special, and you bless so many others with your stories. Everyone will go through hard times in their lives... some will be more apparent than others. I think God wants us to rejoice in the good times. After all, He has given them to us. I think it blesses God when we are so thankful and happy we have to share it with others! There is a time for everything... a time for laughter, and a time for tears. We must take each moment and each day as they come. Thank you for not only being such an amazing sister, but for being my best friend. God truly blessed me with you as a big sister. I miss you every day. I love you!

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  9. ChelseaSalomoneApril 21, 2011 at 7:51 AM

    You have such a good heart and you are such a good person. It makes other people who love you happy (ME) to share in your successes and joy. We all know life is hard, so when life is good- CELEBRATE!!!!!!!!!! Plus, I personally think it gives people who are having a hard time hope to read joy in other peoples' lives. Just my thoughts. xoxo

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